My Trance Drumming Experience
 

- Ann


For the past couple of months I have been feeling a lot of unrest in my life.  I was trying to understand what kind of changes I was craving in my life.  I began to focus a lot of my energy on the possibility of different careers.  I also felt the desire to have another child, though my husband wasn’t sure about it.  

I had never done trance drumming before and I was a bit nervous about what it would be like.  But I also was desperate for another tool to tap into my subconscious and understand why I was feeling such unrest.  I also knew that I would be in a very safe environment for exploration.

On the day of the trance drumming class I had a very stressful afternoon and had to hastily rush out the door to the class.  I was very angry that I wasn’t able to have the relaxing afternoon I had hoped for, and was not able to take time to prepare my intentions for trance drumming.  As I was driving to class I tried to focus on what my intentions would be.  I had planned for my intentions to be to focus on the direction I need to go in my career.  It also popped into my head during the drive, whether I really do want another child or whether I am just searching for change of any kind.  When I arrived I felt as though I had a cloud of stress surrounding me and I was fearful that I would not be able to relax enough to make the class worth my time; which made me even more angry.

I did slowly begin to relax and took some time to sip some tea and take deep breaths.  During the first drumming session I was still very tense and found myself in a fury of dancing in my head to the beat of the drum.  I tried to place myself in my usual “quiet place”, which is a beach setting.  But my mind was in no place for such a relaxing setting.  Soon my visions turned black and white and I found black squares swarming me like mosquitos.  I was swatting at them, trying to get them to leave me alone.  I realized afterward that they were symbolic of all the things on my mind, and I was just trying to get them to go away!

During the second trance session I was more relaxed, though I still found myself in a black and white setting.  I was running and doing somersaults through black triangular curtains.  It was fun and I was enjoying the freedom that I felt I had.  

Once the first two drumming sessions were complete I found that I was feeling much more clear in my mind and was also much more relaxed.  I felt I was ready to try to focus the next session on tapping into my unrest.  I had decided to focus on ideas for new career interests.  During our discussions after the second session one woman spoke of a castle the she had envisioned, with a little girl who had the answer on how to get into the castle, but wasn’t being heard by the large man trying to get in the castle.  I had related to that story, so when the third drumming session began I found myself along the outside of a castle wall.  The setting didn’t feel like it was where I needed to be though, so I turned and started walking away from the castle.  The grass became knee-high, and the field continued on to a forest.  I stopped and wondered where I was going, both in walking through this field and in my own subconscious.  Soon my two sons came running up behind me, laughing and chasing each other.  They were a couple of years older than they are now.  I smiled and went to chase after them when I noticed another little child, barely old enough to walk, trying to run after my sons.  He was chubby and had blonde curly hair, and he was giggling.  Soon after, my husband came up behind the little boy and hoisted him up onto his shoulders and continued walking toward my sons.  My husband appeared very happy and completely in love with the child on his shoulders.  As they walked past me I was removed from being part of the scene to watching it in slow motion.  As my husband walked past, the little boy made eye contact with me.  He wasn’t laughing; he had a more serious look on his face as he turned toward me.  He seemed to know he was looking at me in the present, and he looked at me as if to say, I am yours and I know I will come to be.  I immediately started to cry as it was such a powerful vision.  I felt I had met my unborn child.

Though my question of whether I really wanted a child was just a minor intention of the night, it was the only intention that was very vividly brought to me.  When I got home that night I told my husband of the vision.  When I was talking to him I realized I had also answered a nagging question of whether my husband would want and love another child.  The answer was apparent in the bond I could see in my husband and this child in my vision.  

What is also very exciting is that since my trance drumming class I feel clearer in every aspect of my life.  The unrest seems to have passed.  I soon figured out exactly where I want to focus my career and I have definite goals that I plan to achieve; as well as a baby I hope to meet, though he has not yet been conceived.